


Love is what (You) make it

by stillifall



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Buck actually, M/M, set after s2 ep8
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-11
Updated: 2020-04-11
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:02:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23590522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stillifall/pseuds/stillifall
Summary: Eddie comforting Buck after That emergency call at the station, and Buck going on a whole rant about that's the love he wants...
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan “Buck” Buckley & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 229





	Love is what (You) make it

**Author's Note:**

> this is for you (you know who you are), because you just had to give great prompts and well who else is going to write it? I love you ;*
> 
> Everyone else, enjoy!

If Buck was a bit more silent than usual, no one decided to question it. The call had been a tough one, not because of the medical attention per say, but because of the people involved. The two old men were married, and it didn’t take long to notice the affection between them. They had been in love, for a long time. Of course Buck was the first to pick up just how in love.

Bobby could overhear a little bit of Buck’s conversation with the other man, the one who couldn’t stop worrying about his husband. It was no surprise that Buck had gotten their entire life story, for the younger man always had the ability to open up to people and in return, have people open up to him. It was the Buckley charm, as Buck liked to call it. 

As they continued talking Bobby could hear how deep the conversation was getting. He was afraid that Buck was getting just a little too close to the victim, and that when the husband passed away (because at this rate Eddie was looking pretty close to hopeless) it would affect Buck too.

Both men had passed away that day, and Buck was devastated but- 

(But there was something about not living without the person you love the most that was almost comforting. There was something about that level of loyalty, devotion and well, love, that Buck thought was only possible in movies.)

After the call, they all walked silently back to the truck. Buck was usually the one chattering away, joking with Eddie and trying new (endearing) ways to annoy Bobby. This time, Buck was looking away, pensive. Eddie never took his eyes off him, trying and failing to find the words to tell him that it was okay. He couldn’t, so he stayed silent. 

When they reached the station, everyone stayed in their places trying to see who would be the one among them to break the silence. Eddie glanced at Bobby, who looked at Buck. To their surprise, Buck stood up and left, muttering something about checking to see if Hen needed help with something. Bobby let out a sigh, following after.

Eddie followed, watching how Buck headed for the locker rooms, instead of where Hen was talking with Chimney. He was about to step in his direction when he felt a hand on his shoulder. 

“Give him some time. The kid’s got a big heart, just let him process it for a little.” Bobby smiled at him fondly, almost as if he knew something Eddie didn’t. It made Eddie self conscious. Eddie wanted to help, wanted to cheer him up like Buck always did after a tough call. Buck was the one who would give them the first smile and suddenly make things a little better, a little lighter. Eddie wish he knew how. 

“Okay Cap,” Eddie answered, defeated. He kept his gaze on Buck, his heart heavy. 

Cap made dinner, and told Hen and Chimney about the call. It was… less sentimental than what it really was. He didn’t describe the way the men looked at each other, the way they loved each other. If it was Buck telling the story, Eddie noted, he wouldn’t have missed those details. If it was Buck, it would be more personal, more intimate. It must be tiring, to have a heart as big as Buck. Eddie didn’t know how Buck did. Then again, he was thankful that Buck was like that. 

Buck joined them after a while, his smile not quite reaching his eyes, and his steps a little bit less cheerful than always. They noticed, but didn’t say anything. Then, little by little, Buck began to build himself back up. At first it was a joke to Chimney, then a chuckle at Hen’s comment. By the end of dinner, he seemed better. A little lighter.

Eddie once again hoped that he could have done that for him, made things a little bit less heavy. Just for him. 

“And I told him, what do you know about love?” Chimney finished telling, his ending to the story making everyone chuckle. Everyone but Buck, who suddenly stiffened. He stood up, quickly dismissed himself and disappeared. In a heartbeat, Eddie chased after him. The rest remained in their seats, quickly trying to connect all the dots of what just happened. 

It didn’t take long for Eddie to find Buck, he was sitting in the locker room, looking… well he looked tired, and sad. Eddie cleared his throat to get his attention. Buck shifted, peeking over his shoulder. He didn’t flash him a smile, only a look of recognition passed his face and then he was back to facing forward.

Eddie sat down next to him. His knee bumping against his. He looked down at his hands and then at Buck. He wasn’t sure what the next step was, but he was here. And he was going to make Buck smile by the end of their conversation, somehow. 

“So-”

“They knew about love, you know?” Buck said, unprompted, “Like, they really seem to have it down. I never- I never thought someone could actually be that confident in love.”

“I thought you’ve been in love before?” Buck shrugged and shook his head.

“I mean, this is different. They loved each other and-...” Buck seemed frustrated, almost as if he couldn’t find the right words to describe the connection that they represented. He couldn’t find words to explain that this was putting all your chips down and getting it right. And it was rare, and beautiful and… As if a lightbulb went off, Buck smiled softly and turned to Eddie with a fond look.

“They were partners, in every sense of the word.” Eddie nodded, not quite getting why this was a revelation. He knew about love, or well, he knew about the commitment that it required. He hadn’t been in love as those men were, and he hadn’t been a good partner, or had a good partner. But- but he knew about love. Everyone did to some extent.

Buck sighed, turning to Eddie and then looking down. 

“I want that. But apparently, I can’t find it, it's something I have to make. And still, I want that,” Buck chuckled, turning to Eddie who was just staring at him.

“Is that crazy?” He asked, realizing he had been rambling and Eddie hadn’t said a word since he came in.

Eddie thought about it for a second. 

A love that you don’t find, but make. Having a partner. It was- it was a nice thought. He looked at Buck and suddenly, he knew exactly what Buck was referring to. He knew exactly what being partners meant. His heart beat a little faster and oh god- 

‘ you don’t find it-’

He widened his eyes,

‘You make it’

He and Buck were close. He would follow Buck anywhere, and he knew Buck would too. He would protect the man with everything, and Buck would have his back any day. Buck took care of his family, he protected them. Eddie would do the same. His heart beat a little faster, as his mind started to catch up with the rushing of emotions he was suddenly drowning in. He hadn’t really thought about what they had, but now…

“You are looking at me like I’m crazy so I'm assuming you think a hopeless romantic, right Eddie?” Buck tried to joke, bumping his knee against his to get a reaction. 

And well, it wasn’t funny. Because turns out Eddie knew that Buck wasn’t crazy. And if anything, he was the hopeless romantic for realizing that he wanted that too, except he wanted it with Buck. He wanted to be partners with Buck, because Buck was the closest to partner he ever had. And Buck was what he imagined being in love with someone would be, and Buck-

Fuck.

“You are not crazy,” he managed to spit out, “it sounds nice.” Buck hummed in agreement, letting out a sigh of relief and scooting closer to him. Eddie tensed, and then in a moment of bravery (or recklessness) he added,

“I want that too.” 

(If Buck gave him a curious look after, he ignored it. 

He couldn’t let Buck know that he wanted that with him. 

Or that he wanted to -make- it with him.)


End file.
